Turning Conflict into Conversation: Reflective Questions for Moving Forward
Conflict isn’t fun. Let’s face it, most of us would rather clean the fridge or untagle Christmas lights than face a disagreement head-on. But hey, conflicts happen! And when they do, a little reflection can go a long way. Here are a list of questions that can help you move from “Yikes, what just happened?” to “Okay, I got this, it’s gonna be OK.”
Grab a cup of coffee (or a pint of ice cream if it’s been that kind of day), and let’s go down the list.
What happened? Straightforward enough, right? No need to CSI it, just keep it real and honest.
What were you hoping to achieve? Were you trying to convey information, or clarify a miscommunication? Maybe you were aiming for a friendly debate and ended up in a verbal wrestling match. It happens!
Who has been, or could be affected? Make a list of all those who have been, or could be affected by the conflict. The ripple effect may surprise you.
How are they, or might they be, affected? Did the conflict result in embarassment, tarnished reputations, loss of a friend, or money?
What do you need to do to make things right? Time to play superhero (minus the cape… or with the cape–we’ll leave that up to you). What would genuinely smooth things over so all parties can move forward peacefully.
What have you learned from this experience? Be thorough and honest with yourself. Perhaps you learned something about someone, or realized your reaction mechanism needs a little timing adjustment.
What can you do differently next time? This is a chance to improve your conflict game. Maybe you’ll never bring up the “pineapple on pizza” debate again.
What support do you need to help make things right? Sometimes, all you need is a friend to tell you, “You’re right, that was a mess, let’s reach out and fix this!” Or, maybe you just need to offer up an extra pint of ice cream.
Conflict can leave you feeling angry, down, or just plain ‘ol stupid for letting things get out of hand. Just a few minutes of reflection and a slice of humble pie can change that!
DOWNLOAD a frame-worthy PDF of these questions to hang up at home or work.
